Golden Globes Breast Dressed

Holy Mother of Globes!

What was the most popular color of the 2017 Golden Globes? 
Boob. The color of Boob.
Remember when JLo caused a stir with her deep plunging chiffon number? Well, that was child's play compared to last night's Red Carpet looks. 
A surprising number of starlets got the memo and followed along...even sweet little Mandy Moore!
Let's take a look at some of the best.

Mandy Moore in Naeem Khan. Mandy managed to look sexy and sweet at the same time.

Mandy Moore in Naeem Khan. Mandy managed to look sexy and sweet at the same time.

Even though I wanted to grab Kristen's bodice by both sides and pull them together, I loved this dress so much, and she looked adorable.

Kristen Bell in Jenny Packham. 

Kristen Bell in Jenny Packham. 

Ditto for Jessica.

Jessica Biel in Elie Saab.

Jessica Biel in Elie Saab.

In a sea of black and shiny neutrals, this stood out. I just kept feeling nervous that those shoulder straps were going to slip off while she was presenting.

Jessica Chastain in Prada. I loved this color and cut, the bodice just looked a bit precariously perched.

Jessica Chastain in Prada. I loved this color and cut, the bodice just looked a bit precariously perched.

It's hard not to love Emma Stone, and she managed to make a jewel-encrusted, plunge necked, backless gown look demure. 

Emma Stone in Valentino. Emma looked lovely in this.

Emma Stone in Valentino. Emma looked lovely in this.

And Keri Russell! She rocked this dress, and it was a LOT of dress. 

Keri Russell in J. Mendel

Keri Russell in J. Mendel

Michelle Williams was my favorite look of the night. The hair, makeup, the little black choker...she was the perfect whisper in the room. 

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

Reese has rarely looked better. She shined in canary yellow. 

Reese Witherspoon in Versace

Reese Witherspoon in Versace

Tom Ford. A man of a million talents...why wouldn't a fashion designer be nominated for a Best Director Golden Globe?
Loved the clean, strong lines on Amy.

Amy Adams in Tom Ford

Amy Adams in Tom Ford

One of the most daring looks due to the lack of skin, shine, and embelishment.

Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzzara custom

Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzzara custom

How perfectly cool was Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things?

Millie Bobby Brown in Jenny Packham

Millie Bobby Brown in Jenny Packham

I don't think I like this dress at all, but I loved The Crown so much, and after binge watching and staring at Claire's face for hours on end, I can't help but be mesmerized. To be fair, it appear better on film as she was walking to accept her award. 

Claire Foye in Erdem

Claire Foye in Erdem

Same story for Tracee...I was really happy for her because I love her in Blackish (although not appreciating all the in-show adver-shilling for Microsoft and Buick. Like we're stupid.) Do we love the dress? I think almost....maybe if it was floor length? Or is it the horizontal corset-ry across the lady parts that throws it off? Because if I look at the hips up, I am in love. 

Tracee Ellis Ross in a Zuhair Murad Couture dress

Tracee Ellis Ross in a Zuhair Murad Couture dress

The length might be what throws off Kerry Washington's dress for me, too. Close up on camera this was an amazing work of art. This photo does not do it justice.

Kerry Washington in Dolce & Gabbana

Kerry Washington in Dolce & Gabbana

The Pinks:

I gotta say, I would have rather seen wide open boobies than this mess on Felicity. The skirt is really pretty...never been a fan of the trompe l'oeil thing. 

Felicity Jones in Gucci

Felicity Jones in Gucci

This was done right.

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad

That's a whole lotta pink + a whole lotta ruffle on Zoe. 

Zoe Saldana in Gucci

Zoe Saldana in Gucci

I did not get this at all. I don't know if those are pockets or finger warmers. 

Blake Lively in Atelier Versace

Blake Lively in Atelier Versace

I'm sorry to say this is the second time recently that SJP has been among my picks for least favorite looks. It's not terrible, it just isn't fun.

Sarah Jessica Parker in Vera Wang

Sarah Jessica Parker in Vera Wang

I think this has to be my least favorite dress of the evening...

Emily Ratajkowski in Reem Acra

Emily Ratajkowski in Reem Acra

Except there was this. 

Sophie Turner

Sophie Turner

Overall, I was surprised to see SO many neutrals, shiny metallics, ivory, and black. I thought there would be a ton of color, but the bursts of color were very sporadic. 
Of course the most memorable part of the evening besides the breast parade, was Meryl Streep's Lifetime Achievement acceptance speech. 

If you have a favorite (or not so favorite) I would love to hear!